On 11/11, Singles Day, I noticed many people expressing how challenging it’s been to navigate this year solo. For some, the day became a reminder of not having a partner, which brought feelings of loneliness or a sense of lacking something. And while I completely understand those feelings, I think there’s a different way to look at it.

Okay, let’s talk real for a second. We’ve all been there—dating different people for longer than we care to admit and racking up relationship horror stories that could rival a Nollywood blockbuster. But here’s the thing: I’ve noticed a trend (and I bet you have too)—people enter the dating pool with heartbreak still dripping from their sneakers! It's like showing up to a wedding wearing yesterday’s club outfit. The mismatch is real!

We all want relationships—genuine, loving, and fulfilling ones. But so many of us project fears, doubts, and negativity onto relationships we haven’t even had yet. A conversation with a friend today really got me thinking about this.

Ah, ghosting—the modern dating phenomenon where your potential future partner transforms into a ghost faster than you can say, “What did I do?” Yep, I’ve been there. So, pull up a chair and grab some popcorn because this story’s got all the drama of a soap opera minus the catchy theme song.

Gather ‘round, folks! So, I’ve been scrolling through the internet and stumbling upon a lot of proposal videos, and I have noticed a pattern. It turns out, a lot of these lovebirds didn’t just bump into each other at a coffee shop. Nope! They had their friends, siblings, or even that overly enthusiastic aunt playing matchmaker.

Lately, I’ve noticed a statement circulating widely on social media: “Nobody owes you anything.” At first glance, it might seem liberating—an encouragement to take ownership of your life and expect nothing from others. But when applied to family, this idea feels unsettling to me.

Today, on International Men’s Day, we celebrate the resilience, strength, and sacrifices of men everywhere. Among the many touching stories shared about fathers, brothers, and sons, one common theme stands out: the unwavering commitment of men to show up for their families, often without ever asking for help.

It’s easy for people to have good intentions; almost everyone starts off wanting to make a positive impression and meaning well. But over time, I’ve realized that good intentions mean little if they aren’t backed up by consistent actions. True genuineness shows up in what people do, not just what they say.

I've come to realize that the length of a friendship doesn’t necessarily equal its depth. Sure, I have friends like my best friend of over 20 years, and that’s a bond I cherish deeply. We’ve grown together, shared life’s ups and downs, and I believe she’s in my life for the long run. But I’ve also learned that not every friendship needs to carry that same weight.

As I was clearing out my phone, I stumbled upon some old pictures from two or three years back. In every one, I’m dressed up, laughing, and living my best life—out at fun places, feeling vibrant, free, and completely alive. My first thought was, “Oh, look at me! When mama was a rolling stone!” Then it hit me—when did I stop being that person?

I’ve always been a “procrastinate now, worry later” kind of person. Give me a task, and I'll find 15 other things to do first. Back in school, I’d know about assignments weeks in advance but only start them 3 days before the deadline. Somehow the last-minute pressure seemed to work—though I can’t help but wonder if I’d have done even better by starting early. Now, as an adult who dislikes any kind of pressure and who is trying to live stress free. I've made it my mission to work on the procrastination habit. A few things I do to help with that:

A few years back, I packed up my life and moved away from family and friends. Before I left, everyone was worried about how I’d handle being alone. But me? I wasn’t worried at all. I’m both an introvert and an extrovert, so I figured I’d be just fine. One minute I’m the life of the party, and the next, I’m in full-on “hermit mode,” living my best life binge-watching Netflix or baking up a storm at home. So, when people kept asking, “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I’d just wave them off with, “I’ll be fine!”

Who else has that one colleague who does absolutely nothing at work, yet somehow, they’re everyone’s favorite? You know the type: rolls in late, always chatting, laughing, and somehow still manages to stay on the good side of every senior and manager. That colleague? Yep, that’s the one. Well, guess what? I just learned about "personality hires"—people brought in not for their skills but for their vibe. Yes, you read that right. They brighten the office with their jokes and lovable energy. Meanwhile, I’ve been slaving away like I’m auditioning for "Employee of the Year" and nobody told me I could’ve been a personality hire all along. Excuse me, what?!

So, I’ve noticed a trend lately: ladies are posting these "before and after" photos that are quite intresting. You know the ones I mean—the before pictures are all about wild parties, cocktails flowing, and late-night escapades, while the after shots showcase a more polished, put-together version of themselves: think kids, careers, and Sunday service. Cue the comments!

“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Ah, yes, the classic wisdom that everyone seems to toss around like confetti at a party. I heard it countless times, but it took me a while to really understand what it meant—and even longer to apply it to my own life. 

A couple of years ago, if you had told me that I’d be spending Friday nights wrestling with flour and spices instead of hanging out with friends over cocktails, I would have thought you were crazy! Back then, my weekends were all about mixing drinks and making questionable decisions. Saturdays? Those were dedicated to recovering from the questionable decisions of the night before (duh!)—definitely not for cooking! My kitchen was purely a place for survival—think culinary SOS mode.

Okay, let’s talk about this 30-plus life, because it’s hitting different, and not in a good way! 😅 So, there I was, all set for a fun night out with my friend at 7 PM. And guess what? By 6:30 PM, I was snuggled up in bed, dodging calls like I was in a game of dodgeball. Seriously, how did I go from being the queen of weekend shenanigans—doing back-to-back plans from Friday to Sunday—to this?