This week at Bible study, we dug into James 1:19-21, particularly the part that says, "Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." It’s a scripture many of us know, but here’s what I learnt from my friend during bible study: We should also be slow to take offense. Yeah! Most of us don’t realize how quickly we get offended, holding onto grudges like they’re souvenirs from a party. But the thing is: as Christians, we’re called to extend grace to others—just like the grace we expect for ourselves.
Let’s break this down into bite-sized pieces.
Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak (Easier Said Than Done)
Raise your hand if you’ve ever interrupted someone because you were just so ready to say your piece? Yep, me too. But James gives us a simple formula: Listen first, speak later. We love to share our thoughts, but how often do we stop to truly hear others? Listening doesn’t mean sitting there planning your next comeback. It means hearing the other person out with an open mind and heart. After all, how can we extend grace if we don’t even give someone a chance to speak?
Challenge: Next time you’re in a conversation—especially one that’s heated—pause before responding. Ask yourself, “Am I really listening to understand, or am I listening to respond?”
Slow to Anger... and Even Slower to Take Offense
It’s pretty straightforward: getting mad quickly doesn't lead to anything good. But here's the underrated part—we should also be slow to take offense. Think about it. How often do we immediately assume someone’s out to get us when, in reality, they probably didn’t mean any harm?
We’re quick to judge someone’s words or actions, but wouldn’t we appreciate a little understanding when we slip up? We all have bad days. We all make mistakes. Yet, we rarely extend that same understanding to others. It's easier to hold a grudge than to let it go.
Tip: Before you catch feelings or let anger bubble up, ask yourself, “Is this worth my peace?” More often than not, it isn’t.
Grace for Others, Grace for Ourselves
As Christians, we talk a lot about grace. God shows us grace every single day, but when it’s our turn to dish it out to others? Suddenly we’re running low. Truth is: the same grace we expect from others (and from God), we’re called to extend. That’s what sets us apart.
Grace isn’t just a church word; it’s how we live and love in our day-to-day interactions. It’s forgiving the person who snapped at you because they’re probably dealing with their own stuff. It’s choosing to believe that your friend who canceled on you might actually have a valid reason. Grace is the real MVP in every relationship—whether with family, friends, or even that co-worker who is annoying.
Action Step: Think of one person this week who has unintentionally offended you. Instead of holding onto it, let it go. Offer them the grace you’d want if the roles were reversed.
At the end of the day, we’re all human, and nobody gets it right 100% of the time. But the more we practice being slow to take offense and quick to extend grace, the more we reflect Christ’s love in our everyday lives.
What’s your takeaway from James 1:19-21? Drop your thoughts in the comments and let’s keep the conversation going!
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